Groundswells and Blindsides

This devotional is for anyone who has lost a loved one. The wonder and frustration of grief is that there is no set timeline: as unique individuals, we each cope with loss differently. I lost my husband of 19 years unexpectedly in March 2014. As we work through our losses together, this blog aims to provide support and encouragement through testimonials and the Word of God. Feel free to share, comment or simply absorb. Thanks for stopping...


I am to the point where I can sense when a wave of grief has me targeted for a hit.

It can begin early in the morning as a slow, aching groundswell in my abdomen. I know what kind of day it will be, and, per my therapist's instructions, I don't try to fight it.

As uncomfortable as it can be, I let the waves build until they erupt with force, crashing against my heart. They only subside once the tears are streaming down my face. It is only then that the awful ache dissipates, as if the wave accomplished what it set out to do: break me down.

The groundswells are uncomfortable, but fairly predictable. I know they will subside once I've had a good cry.

It's the blindsides that can deal a devastating blow and toss you off course. Anything can trigger the emotional tidal wave that assaults without warning: a photograph, a scent, a song on the radio.

I didn't immediately feel grief. Didn't allow it. Upon the passing of my late husband last spring, I was determined to plow through grief, head down and press through anything in my path. I didn't want to grieve -- after all, who wants to sit around crying? I was afraid if I really let myself grieve, I'd be in a perpetual meltdown in a corner somewhere, useless to anyone. I told myself I didn't have time to grieve: My teenage sons were counting on Mama to be strong, to go to work, to attend their games...

But my wonderful grief counselor warned me about stifling the process. It's like a fish bobber--you can try as you might to keep it under, but it WILL pop back up, and it may happen at inopportune times. Only after I began having crying spells at work did I submit to the grief process. And oh boy, the flood gates opened!

It may seem that the raw, aching, grief is too much to bear. But rest assured of two things: the Lord will not allow the grief and sadness to overtake you, and you are not alone. "When thou passest through the waters, I will be with thee: when thou walkest through the fire, thou shalt not be burned; neither shall the flame kindle upon thee...5) Fear not, for I am with thee." Isaiah 43:2,5

This is a transition, and while not exactly desired, it is reality. I am thankful for it, and pray for strength to endure as He strengthens my heart and those around me.

Prayer: Lord, thank You for the grief process. There is no way around it, but You promised to be with us through the groundswells, the blindsides, and our life journey. Even though it hurts and we may not see the good right now, use us and our experiences to help and encourage someone else, particularly those who do not know You. In the name of Jesus, Amen.