Never Alone

Last week, I attended the funeral of a former co-worker. He was married, had a college-age son and a daughter in high school. He was 51.

I think of his poor wife. She has no idea what is ahead.

The inner ache, missing having her man to look out for her and protect the family... being his priority...the yearning for her husband...no one else knew her like he did. No one will love their children like he did.

And she will discover it's difficult to be sick without your lifemate to care for you.

A couple days ago, I felt a cold catching on. After work, I laid in bed, and the tears flowed. I felt sorry for myself because I realized my late husband would never again tend to me when I'm sick.

I miss how he was  attentive to my wants and needs. He wouldn't hesitate to get me soup or juice, pick up my prescription or anything I needed. He would rub my back, or just hold me close. I used to get irritated that he chose my time of misery to want to fool around -- I mean, really! And he always used the same lame reason: "It will take your mind off being sick and make you feel better." And like a dodo bird, I fell for it every time. But he was right! (smile)

He didn't care if I gained/lost weight or times when my hair looked a mess...he made  me feel like I was desirable in his eyes, like I was the only woman in the world.

Now, it seems the key words of the day are transition and adjustment.

If you are the survivor of a life partner or spouse. you are in a new and different chapter in your life. Everything has changed. Whereas before, you were connected with your loved one, you are now one. This a stark, raw reality, and it feels like you're forging it alone in this world.

But our Heavenly Father knows and sees. As this blog is appropriately titled, He has been my shelter, my refuge, the very strength I draw from. When I do not know the words to utter in prayer, when all I can say is "Jesus," He is faithful to be my peace. He is there for you, He has never left. It is not for us to question His timing nor His ways, but to accept and ask for strength to move forward.

"Preserve me, O God, for I take refuge in Thee. I said to the Lord, 'Thou art my Lord; I have no good besides Thee.'" Psalm 16:1-2

Prayer: Precious Father, thank You for the time we had with our loved ones. To know them and to have been cared for and to have shared love with them is a tremendous gift. Many are experiencing a deep, achy, raw and, at times, agonizing hurt because of the loss of our loved one. Help us to draw near to You, and to draw strength from You. We pray our loved ones are living eternal life in peace and joy with You. Help us to remember that we are never alone as we endeavor to navigate this new and foreign chapter in our lives, because we have You. In the name of Jesus, Amen.